![]() ![]() There’s the game a group of high-school boys play called Rate ‘Em, in which they rate their female peers based on their attractiveness. There’s Zee, Greer’s best friend, who, as a 13-year-old in 2001, years before coming out as queer, listens to her peers append gay jokes to karaoke lyrics at her bat mitzvah (remember the “no homo” fad?). There are Darren’s repeat offenses, which are recounted, in detail, as different women compose a whisper network of their stories, much like the publishing industry’s Shitty Media Men list. But over the next couple of weeks, half a dozen other female Ryland students had their own Darren Tinzler encounters.” Already it was so much less important than what was apparently going on right now at other colleges: the rugby-playing roofie-givers, the police reports, the outrage. After Darren Tinzler reaches out and twists Greer’s breast during a conversation at a frat party, Greer recounts: “It wasn’t rape…not even close. ![]() We are dedicated to our mission of educating students in an environment that is safe and welcoming for everyone, and we are constantly working to improve it.In The Female Persuasion (Random House, April 3), Meg Wolitzer writes her protagonist, Greer Kadetsky, into a moment of confusing sexual assault. The school worked closely with Chessy’s parents to help her stay and worked very hard to keep Chessy’s identity as confidential as reasonably possible and did so. The administration did its best to support Chessy. We teach students extensively about sexual assault prevention, and have strengthened our robust programs on health, well-being, and mutual respect. We’re proud of the culture we’ve built at our school and of our care for students. The school has no tradition or culture that would ever allow or condone what happened to Chessy. ![]() Chessy bravely stepped forward to address an issue important not just to schools, but to the entire country. “We fully support Chessy’s trailblazing work to give a voice to sexual assault victims. The blame does not belong on our shoulders, and we have the right to live without it, and heal at our own pace. The burden I feel to make a difference is amplified with the knowledge that I am not alone that women and men around the world are owning their stories of trauma and pain and are standing up to say enough is enough. Paul's behind me, I realize that there is so much work to be done. My journey is far from over, but as I put the chapters of St. As more survivors speak up, institutions everywhere are being forced to respond. A teenage survivor of sexual assault shouldn't be responsible for holding a 162-year old institution accountable for its actions, or lack thereof. The power in this moment is the empowerment happening all around us. Even today the words and actions of the school are painful energy and resources that could be invested in student safety and well-being are instead diverted toward preserving their reputation.Ī student slipping on an icy sidewalk is an "unfortunate event," Mr. Paul's go to great lengths, and great depths, to protect their brand. There have been many surprises throughout my journey, not the least of which is the fact that schools such as St. Paul's move made me feel like I had no choice. I had been considering going public with my story to help other survivors, but I still had deep reservations. Paul's responded by threatening to expose my identity. I wanted to hold the school accountable and prevent other kids from getting hurt, so my family and I filed a lawsuit. I stopped calling myself a victim and began calling myself a survivor. My shame morphed into anger, my fear into action. The letters from these strangers, and the support and love from my sisters, my parents, my extended family, and my therapist, helped reaffirm the truth I always knew: It was NOT my fault. I received a couple of dozen messages of support from complete strangers, people who not only believed me, but believed in me too. īut there were other people who gave me the strength to get through it all. ![]() It was devastating and infuriating to be re-victimized by Owen's defense attorney who twisted my words and interrogated me as if I had committed the crime. I wanted to heal from the attack and the betrayal but the trial led to new wounds and raw feelings. I would sit in her office and genuinely ask: What did I do to deserve being assaulted?Īll I wanted was for Owen to take responsibility for the assault, and to prevent him from violating more girls. ![]()
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